What’s the best part of the Super Bowl? Not the commercials. Certainly not the football. It’s the gastronomy, stupid.
Are you still there?
I do owe a few things to football, not the least of which is my blank stare. I don’t know how I lived so long without the ability to pretend I’m paying attention to something. That’s why I use my blank stare eight, maybe nine times a day now. To make up for lost time.
At any rate, none of this explains why I’ve posted about the Super Bowl twice today, a whole long winter’s month before the actual event. Luckily an obsession with perfect guacamole requires no excuses, no matter the time of year. And a fixation on an entire buffet’s worth of spicy, wintry foods that make you thirsty for beer? Well, if you fault me for that, maybe it’s time we parted ways.
Are you still there?
In the spirit of My Perfect Oatmeal, this guac aims not to boast but only to please. Guacamole is a personal matter to be sure, and this is my hands-down personal favorite. It always disappears before you know what hit you, even when everyone else is paying attention to the game and you’ve secretly positioned the bowl in your laser-focused peripheral vision. So make a lot, and do your best to act normal. Even if it feels like a Hail Mary. Speaking of good-weird, here’s a delightful little Canadian video on how to prepare and dice an avocado for guacamole. You’re welcome.
My Perfect Guacamole Recipe
Juice and grated zest of 2 limes (use a microplane to zest the limes)
4 ripe Haas avocados
2 tomatoes, seeded and diced
1/2 small red onion, minced
1/2 cup chopped cilantro
1/2 mild jalapeño pepper, minced
4 very big pinches of salt
A few grinds black pepper
1. Zest and juice the limes into a medium bowl. It might seem like a lot of juice, but you won’t be sorry.
2. Cut, pit, dice and scoop the avocados from their skins one at a time as shown in the lovely Canadian Life video above. As you dice each avocado half, add it to the bowl and toss to coat with lime juice after each addition so they don’t brown. Add the tomatoes, onions, cilantro, jalapeño, salt (don’t skimp!) and pepper and stir to combine well. Don’t be tempted to mash the avocados. Serve with tortilla chips and lots of good beer.