My Perfect Guacamole

What’s the best part of the Super Bowl? Not the commercials. Certainly not the football. It’s the gastronomy, stupid.

t took me several decades to come to appreciate the beauty of the Super Bowl. Maybe it’s because I sort of detest football, or did until I saw how happy it makes Umami Boy.

Are you still there?

I do owe a few things to football, not the least of which is my blank stare. I don’t know how I lived so long without the ability to pretend I’m paying attention to something. That’s why I use my blank stare eight, maybe nine times a day now. To make up for lost time.

At any rate, none of this explains why I’ve posted about the Super Bowl twice today, a whole long winter’s month before the actual event. Luckily an obsession with perfect guacamole requires no excuses, no matter the time of year. And a fixation on an entire buffet’s worth of spicy, wintry foods that make you thirsty for beer? Well, if you fault me for that, maybe it’s time we parted ways.

Are you still there?

In the spirit of My Perfect Oatmeal, this guac aims not to boast but only to please. Guacamole is a personal matter to be sure, and this is my hands-down personal favorite. It always disappears before you know what hit you, even when everyone else is paying attention to the game and you’ve secretly positioned the bowl in your laser-focused peripheral vision. So make a lot, and do your best to act normal. Even if it feels like a Hail Mary. Speaking of good-weird, here’s a delightful little Canadian video on how to prepare and dice an avocado for guacamole. You’re welcome.



  • Wow, my recipe is so close to yours – but yours has so much lime! Can’t believe I haven’t done that before. I think I’m going to add it to the leftovers in the fridge. Thanks!ReplyCancel

  • Henry


    Super Bowl is just another excuse!

    The inner circle of my tribe gather anywhere, anytime, to share food, beverages, music, and each other. I don’t even watch the sports clips on the news…. rather be in the Kitchen with wine in hand and friends at hand. Last year had Oysters Rockefeller and raw on the half – I have a ‘to die for source’… part of what’s great about being on eastern LI’s N shore.

    Thanks for your guac recipe; I prefer lime and cilantro to be discernable in the foreground, but yet not overpowering…a delicate dance…can’t wait to try this – looks perfect.ReplyCancel

  • Guac is my favorite dish! I never considered including the lime zest. Great idea!ReplyCancel

  • I love guacamole! I’ve never made it though. Saving this recipe for the superbowl! Thanks :)ReplyCancel

  • (here via Blogher link) Guacamole is my favorite reason to watch football! Great post!ReplyCancel

  • […] recommendation, what I can offer is My Perfect Pesto. In the spirit of My Perfect Oatmeal and My Perfect Guacamole, this is the pesto recipe that would be my Platonic Ideal of a pesto recipe if Platonic Ideal meant […]ReplyCancel

  • […] Guacamole or sliced avocado […]ReplyCancel

  • […] cup guacamole or 1/2 avocado, […]ReplyCancel

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